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I like being a wife and mommy! I enjoy reading, the computer, photography, making backgrounds and stuff for web pages. Crafts of all kinds, cooking and generally creating!
I listen to praise & worship music, watch crafting shows, Law and Order & CSI.
I am ever learning and desire to be used by my Lord.

flowers layout powered by HOTFreeLayouts.com / MyHotComments Computers, Service, Ministry/Callings, Theology, Parenting, Baking/Cooking, Reading, Painting/Drawing, Photography, Church, Music - Listening

Law & Order and Crafting shows.
Movies: Suspense, Mysteries.
Podcast: Joel Olsteen, In Touch, Joyce Meyers, Precept Ministries., Books: Christian fiction
T.V.: CSI

I gave my heart to the Lord in March of 89 but after years of being hurt and hurt and hurt I turned my back on Him. Here's my story, my life...

All my life even as a child I knew I wanted to be a mom so when I married (at eighteen) it never crossed my mind that there was a problem. A year went by and no baby, thus my long ordeal with the doctors began.

Clomid, surely this would give me the baby I always wanted! Positive test results! And time after time the bleeding would begin, I wouldn't even make it long enough to get to my next doctors visit.

Then the testing began, not fun!

Divorce put a hold on my plans to have a family but soon I married again (not my smartest move) and again with the clomid but this time higher doses and throw in some progesterone with it.

Positive pregnancy test and this time i made it to my next doctors appointment, everything looks good! Finally, yes!!!

Early one morning (my day off from work) I got up and thought I'd do a little cleaning and GUSH....off to the hospital I go. I don't know why your bleeding everything looks fine, go home and take it easy for a few days. For the next week off and on it goes.

Ultrasound, WOW FOUR BABIES!!!! Again everything looks fine, it's just implantation and it will go away.

The bleeding didn't stop and then one evening the contractions began, off to the hospital again....

There's nothing we can do, go home and take it easy. I spent that night sitting up all by myself on our couch crying going threw labor and then what i knew was coming, they were all gone.

Then we moved to Alabama and started going to a Church there (Vineyard).

Dreaded mothers day came and it happened to land on a Sunday which made it even worse. There would be all the hoopla about mothers day and I wasn't a mother and would never be!The Pastor said there is someone here that desperately wants a baby but you can't have one, stand up! I did and I was the only one there that was standing up! He said God says for you to come up here so I can pray for you. He laid hands on me and prayed for me and guess what? My cycles that had never been normal before straightened up. Time goes by and divorce number two.

Then a relationship I thought was made in heaven, er were best friends, we did everything together. He moved in with me his children would come on the weekends and tho we weren't married it was as if I finally had a family, it was the best relationship I had ever had, so I thought. Things began to change, he grew distant and finally told me that he loved me but not enough to marry me. He had been cheating on me all along. He broke my heart like it had never been broken before. If it wasn't bad enough he kept coming back, he couldn't make up his mind while I was loosing mine!
I went to the Dr. and he put me on zoloft for depression and Ativan for panic attacks.
I rented out one of my rooms to a guy I knew back in Ca. when we were kids, his name is Christian and soon we were messing around. I just didn't care anymore, I started drinking and taking pills and smoking pot, if my life wasn't messed up enough I got hurt at work and couldn't work. The Dr's started giving me pills, lots of pills and I was taking them along with what I was already doing. Looking back I'm surprised I'm alive!
Well I Christian and I got serious and boy did I go through a lot with him. Chris stayed on the wrong side of the law and caused a lot of trouble for me and everyone else.

Four years after having hands laid on me three of my nieces are expecting their first babies. While I was happy for them and happy to have more babies in the family I wasn't happy that I wasn't having one of my own!

FINE GOD, you don't want me to be a mother, what do you want for me??? I also started praying for God to protect my nieces and their babies.

About a week later (unmarried and living with Christian) I have missed my cycle, I know I'm not pregnant, I can't be, I'm 37 and living in sin I just know God isn't going to bless me with a child with me acting like this! I'll take a test it will be negative and I'll relax and I'll start.

Off to the bathroom I go, not wanting to get my hopes up but really wanting it to say positive too. Oh my God, I'm pregnant!!! What am I going to do??? My life is a mess! I'm not married, the relationship I'm in is not going good! I'm on Workman's compensation and taking A LOT of medicines, drinking, smoking pot, Christian is on drugs (crack) and is about to go to prison on a drug charge! OH MY GOD, what have I done???

I love my baby, this is not what I want for her (I know she's a girl) I have got to do something and fast!

Christian turned himself in and was in prison for almost a year and it came very close to me being homeless when I wouldn't continue with the injections for my back the insurance company cut off my compensation and I had no income. I couldn't do anything that would hurt my Abbey! From the day I found out I was pregnant until the day I had her, i never took another pain pill or muscle relaxer or drank or smoked pot! There were days (a lot) that I thought I can't do this, I hurt so bad but I would pray and He would get me through every day.

Well it wasn't easy but with the grace of God we have both turned our lives around we are married now and have a healthy, beautiful daughter that is growing and learning so fast! Her name is Abigail Jane Foster, we call her Abbey, she's 16 months old now and there hasn't been a day that I haven't thanked God for her!!!

We live in Tennessee now and can you believe it, I teach Sunday School and am involved in the Children's Ministries!


Life isn't easy I'm still hurt and I have trials of my own but I don't go through them alone. Matt 28:20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."


Rom 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,* who* have been called according to his purpose

I also am blessed with two great nephews, Tallen and little Mike and a great niece Alexis (I call her Lexie). Who are all healthy beautiful babies too!

God is so good to us, He loves us so much and not only did Jesus die on a cross for us but He causes us to REALLY LIVE, if only we will trust in Him.

Honest & Honorable!