On Tuesday I spent a fun and TOTALLY exhausting day speaking to six public high school classrooms about writing. The teacher called and invited me a couple of weeks ago after he noticed my niece, Heather, reading one of my books.

"What you reading?" the teacher had asked.

"One of my aunt's books."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she's an author."

"Does she live around here?"

"Yeah, in town."

"Do you think she'd be willing to come in a speak to our classes?"

"Sure, I'll ask."

So, there I was talking to teens all day long about how I write, why I write, when I write ... and their favorite question ... answering about how much money I make. (They were highly disappointed to find out I wasn't a millionaire, living in a big house, with fancy cars!)

This was just another object lesson I've had lately about a topic I've been thinking about ... influence. About the people who take time to listen to my thoughts--through books, through blogs, through speaking and even in my everyday life. I have a voice, opinions and beliefs. I have something to say and--by gosh--there are people who really want to listen.

Before arriving in the high school classes the teacher had warned me. Many of the teens had respect issues. Many of them talked out of turn. Many had a lot of problems in their lives. Be prepared. I have to say that though standing in front of teens for all that time was tiring, they were great. They listened, they asked appropriate questions, and they truly seemed interested in what I had to say. Maybe it was because they knew I volunteered to take time out of my day to be there and share with them?

This morning a verse came to mind during my morning devotions, "Whatever you have done to the least of these, you have done to me," Matthew 25:45. In our society teens could be considered the least of these. They look weird. They dress weird. They think differently. They have no respect for authority. Or so we believe. But hasn't the same thing been said of every generation ... including mine and yours?

Tuesday, between classes, I had a chance to sit down and chat with a multi-pierced girl. She was formerly from California, too. We talked about Montana, the weather, and about going to a new school. She was interesting and kind. If I had more time I would have enjoyed taking her out for coffee just to hear her heart.

That night, after all the classes were over, after I shuttled my daughter to guitar lessons/basketball practice, after I had touched base with my friend Kristen on the phone, and after I'd taken my 13-year-old Christmas shopping at the only place he could afford (The $1 Store), I was pushing my cart mindlessly through Target on my way to get milk (and something that I could throw into the oven for dinner) when a voice broke through my fog.

"Hi!" It was a teenage boy with a big wave. "Remember me? I met you at school today."

I did remember him ... a face in a classroom out of six classrooms, yet also a cool kid I'm sure I would also enjoy getting to know if I had a chance.

So, what did all of this have to do with anything? INFLUENCE ... and taking the time to be one and give some.

You never know what difference you'll make to a friendly boy, a multi-pierced girl, and everyone in between.

1 Corinthians 16:8 says, "Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.” ... Or make it known at your local high school.

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My new book Generation NeXt Marriage arrived Monday night! The box arrived the same time as our small group was arriving for Bible study, so I had a whole group here to celebrate with me!

If you'd be interested in blogging about it, spreading the word to your friends, church, or small group, let me know. I'd love send you a FREE copy. (Email: bookmarketing@triciagoyer.com)

BOOK CHAPTER

Book Description
Do you still find yourself humming the love songs of the 80s and 90s?

Do you still believe that every marriage should be between soul mates?

But...do you wonder how you can succeed at love and marriage when the generation you grew up in didn’t?

Marriage isn’t what it used to be–it can be better than ever.

If you are a Gen Xer, your marriage has challenges and potentials that no other generation has known. A Gen Xer herself, Tricia Goyer offers realistic help to achieve the God-honoring marriage you long for. She includes…

•Ways to protect your marriage despite the broken relationships modeled in your youth
•Stories, suggestions, and confessions from fellow Gen Xers facing the “What now?” question of real-life marriage
•Advice from the ultimate marriage survival guide: the Bible
•Stats, quizzes, sidebars, and study questions related to this “relationally challenged” time in history
•Practical helps for negotiating kids, work, sex, money, and dirty laundry–sometimes all in the same evening

If you are part of a generation of adults who don’t want to bow to their culture or live and love like their parents did . . . this book is for you.

Here are what a few people had to say: (For a few list of their comments check out Amazon.com!)

“Where do Gen Xers find the priceless principles to make a marriage work? Most didn’t get them in the homes they grew up in, and they didn’t get them from the TV or movies they watched or music lyrics they listened to. But Tricia Goyer, an Xer herself, offers real help and real hope for the Gen X marriage and insightful truths for all who work or minister to those in the Gen X age group.”
–Pam Farrel, best-selling author of Men Are Like Waffles–Women Are Like Spaghetti, Red-Hot Monogamy, and The First Five Years

“Generation NeXt Marriage is a much-needed marriage manual for a generation ready to make the most of marriage. Thoughtful, interactive, well researched, and exceptionally relevant for couples who want to thrive in their marriages, this book is a must for beginning and continuing young couples.”
–Elisa Morgan, CEO, MOPS International and publisher, FullFill magazine

“Tricia Goyer refuses to play the ‘blame game.’ This extraordinary Gen Xer, raised in a blended family, steps up to the plate and speaks to ALL generations…but especially to her own. She is gifted and blunt. She shares that it’s time to really LIVE and LOVE YOUR HUSBAND GOD'S WAY…and tells the reader just how to do that. Tricia is young enough to be my daughter and wise enough to be my mentor. This book is GenXcellent!”
–Nancy Cobb, author of How to Get Your Husband to Listen to You

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“I want a heart, that I may fill it with Divine compassion; and lips, purged from all uncleanness, wherewith to tell the story that brings hope to the despairing, freedom to the bound, healing to the diseased, and life to the dead.  Wilt thou lend Me thine?”

--Rev. J. Gregory Mantle, Springs in the Valley, September 21.

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I always get TONS of requests on info on how I do everything, so ... in November on Tuesday and Thursdays I'm going to have Time Management 101 with tips for balancing family, hubby, life, job, friends, house, etc. Scroll down the blog to see the previous tips!

Well...back to the grind! I'm getting myself back on track by thinking of what lays ahead for December. Which of course found me staring at my calendar... I have to say the living by a schedule helps me to organize my time and keep on track ... BUT it helps to remember that the schedule is created to help me ... and I am not a slave to the schedule. Every day, ever hour, my plans may change. I also try to be open to what God desires to do in the world around me--and how He's asking me to get involved.

"Any task that comes from the Maker of the universe is important," writes Henry Blackaby in Experiencing God. "Don't use human standards to measure the important or value of the task God gives."

I love that! If I feel God's leading to take one of my kids to lunch for a heart-to-heart talk, or to call a friend, or to escape away to my room to commune with Him THAT is the most important task in the universe."

I don't know about you, but even more important about managing my time is walking in step with my God. Hmmm ... maybe next months blogs should be on how I do that? What do you think????

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I always get TONS of requests on info on how I do everything, so ... in November on Tuesday and Thursdays I'm going to have Time Management 101 with tips for balancing family, hubby, life, job, friends, house, etc.


Deadlines:

1. My family used to MOAN during deadline month. They basically never saw Mom. For the last few books I’ve been trying spread out the deadlines. I schedule in daily writing times for every project through the months, and I do my best to meet those goals. If I can accomplish this it’s not as stressful in the last month before deadline.

2. I also work in magazine deadlines. (Again looking at my schedule, I figure about eight hours per article on average, and make space.) If I’m asked to write an article, I realistically look at my schedule. If I can’t do it, I decline.

3. I occasionally will go away with a friend to write for a few days. Next week I’ll be going for four days. I get a TON of writing done if that’s all I have to focus on.

4. I work on a weekly schedule, but daily I ask myself, “What is the most important thing I need to accomplish today?” And I do that first. I then rearrange my daily schedule according to my “most important stuff,” because there are ALWAYS things that come up. I like my electronic calendar because I just click and drag to move stuff around.

5. I also “schedule in” ideas … book ideas, article ideas, marketing ideas. I create a “slot” on my calendar and plug those in. It gets them off my mind until I’m ready for them.

6. If I feel the Holy Spirit laying something heavy on my heart … I will ignore my schedule and follow that leading. In fact, most of my book proposals come from this. If I feel something strong on my heart I ask myself, “Will I be disobedient if I don’t follow this leading, at this time?” If I feel “yes,” then I’ll work on it … even if I had the day scheduled for something else. If I feel “no,” then I’ll jot a note to myself and keep going with what I had planned.

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I realize the "life" doesn't begin "after this deadline" or "this book release" or "when my books sell X number." Life is happening today. So I can either live in a mess ... setting myself up for failure, or live successfully. I chose the latter. I’m striving to live a sustainable life. I don’t want to burn myself out.

I’ve given myself permission to set a schedule that works for me. I use Microsoft Outlook, and I schedule in EVERYTHING. From waking up and having morning quiet time, to straightening the house, to making dinner, to working on a book proposal—it’s all on the calendar. This works for me because it helps me to be realistic with my daily goals. In I have a day packed with other things, I can’t write 2,000 words … and I don’t stress myself out thinking I should. I also like to check things off a list.

Now for actual stuff. I'll start with what I think is most important and work through the list from there.

Family/Friends:

1 -4 here!


5. I multi-task. I read galleys or research books as I exercise on my recumbent bike. I read magazines while I blow dry my hair. I take my notebook computer into the kitchen and answer emails as I wait for the water to boil or wait for the chicken to bake.


6. I take my kids out to lunch once a month for one-on-one time. I don’t talk on the cell-phone or listen to the radio when I’m driving them around—instead I use that time to connect. We hang out nearly every night. We watch TV together, go over homework, or talk. I rarely schedule evening events beyond Wednesday church and Monday small group.


7. My husband and I go on a date once a week, and we read our Bible and pray together every morning.


8. I have lunch with friends about once a week. I just started this within the last few months, and I need it.

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I always get TONS of requests on info on how I do everything, so ... in November on Tuesday and Thursdays I'm going to have Time Management 101 with tips for balancing family, hubby, life, job, friends, house, etc. "How do you do it all?" Is the #1 question I get. I have to start by saying that I've worked through many of these things in the last year with my life coach Judy Baer. She helps me "think through" trouble areas of my life and find a solution ... what a concept! I realize the "life" doesn't begin "after this deadline" or "this book release" or "when my books sell X number." Life is happening today. So I can either live in a mess ... setting myself up for failure, or live successfully. I chose the latter. I’m striving to live a sustainable life. I don’t want to burn myself out. I’ve given myself permission to set a schedule that works for me. I use Microsoft Outlook, and I schedule in EVERYTHING. From waking up and having morning quiet time, to straightening the house, to making dinner, to working on a book proposal—it’s all on the calendar. This works for me because it helps me to be realistic with my daily goals. In I have a day packed with other things, I can’t write 2,000 words … and I don’t stress myself out thinking I should. I also like to check things off a list. Now for actual stuff. I'll start with what I think is most important and work through the list from there. Family/Friends: 1. Like many on the list I balance writing and mothering. Actually, I homeschool, too. This is what I do: 2. I schedule quiet time, devotions with husband, church on Sundays and Wednesdays and small group at our house. The spiritual foundation comes first. 3. I hire someone to do deep cleaning four hours a week. Also, my kids have all their own chores. I’ve done this since they were small. Currently, my daughter (15) has kitchen duty. My 13-year-old son gathers/puts away laundry, sets/clears table, etc. My 18-year-old son sweeps/mops the floors and taxis his siblings around and does occasional chores for me. I spend about an hour a day “keeping everything up.” 4. I set a do-able homeschool schedule. Every Monday I co-op with my friends for about four hours, and we each teach from our strengths. I teach writing, my friends teach other subjects. I also spend only about 30 minutes a day going over my kids school work with them. They work in the same room as I write. I help in small spurts as needed. 5. I have one day a week for errands. This is also the same day I take my grandma to lunch/dinner. (She lives with us.) This is also the day for SLS … or as Mary says, “Stupid Little Stuff.” I plan that stuff on this day since I’m already out. more on Thursday!

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Before I get into the meat of "how I do it all" I just wanted to add this to last week's tip...

IF you really, really want to get a lot of writing done, get a dog to lays on your feet. In January, we got a new puppy--1/2 Scottie, 1/2 Pomeranian. He was tiny and cute, but he is everything you hear about the challenges of terriers. He gets in the trash. He JUST got house broken within the last few weeks. He is very active. He runs down the street when I let him out, and he's just starting to come back when I call. Despite this, he has one good quality. Jake lays on my feet as I write, and I LOVE it. He's warm (necessary for cold Montana days), cuddly, and it's sooooo sweet. So, sometimes when I feel like getting up and doing anything else besides writing, I don't. I work a little longer. I sit here and get stuff done, because Jake is so comfortable, and I can't disrupt the pup!

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The life of an author must be full of exciting opportunities and writing-filled days ... well, sort of. There are amazing opportunities, but I have chosen to take time for things that matter--things I'd regret missing.

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I've been homeschooling for thirteen years. Kids are now 18, 15, and 13 and my oldest is graduating this year. (Although we are in the process of an International adoption, so I'll be starting all over in a few years!) Anyway, during this time my husband and I have felt God's leading in towards ministry. My husband works full-time, out of the home, yet God led us to start a dynamic, weekly children's ministry at our church. John writes the curriculum, and the rest of us help as actors or with sound/lighting. We've done this every week for the last ten years.

Also, when I was pregnant with my youngest, I felt God's leading to start writing. Since that time I've written fourteen books that have been published by houses such as Zondervan and Thomas Nelson. I write both historical fiction and non-fiction books concerning parenting, marriage, books for teens, etc. I also write regularly for Focus on the Family and other national magazines. I also helped to start a crisis pregnancy center in our town in 1999, and volunteered there for many years. My children helped through remodel, babysitting for teen moms, etc.

There were times when it was hard balancing it all ... but I also feel that we, as homeschooling parents (or all parents!), do our kids no favors when we neglect to follow our God-given dreams. In fact, I feel it has benefited my kids to see me seeking God, setting goals, and accomplishing my dreams through God's strength. They see lived-out examples of how one person can reach many, and they've witnessed and people blessed as a result. They shared dinner with teen parents, have visited with WWII vets, and have "proofed" my books before they go to print. Their lives are enriched, and they've seen God at work.

So what about you? Have you bought in to the lie that you'll do something for God "once the kids are older"? If so ... what a shame. Just think of what an example you can be TODAY. Just think of how seeing God at work in your can mold YOUR children's future!

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