My Testimony
Posted by:
Ayms on
August 27, 2008 at
12:33AM EST
I believed in God my whole life. I knew He was real. But I knew nothing of the Bible, I knew
not what it was like to truly be "on fire" for God. I saw people lifting their hands in Church and I saw
tears fall from their eyes, but I never had the emotional experience I had wanted so much. It didn't
really worry me though, so it became less important over time. I went to Church regularly, and I talked
as if I was confident in my faith. But in all honesty, my spiritual temperature was barely luke-warm.
As problems in my family began increasing, questions arose within me as to whether or
not God really cared. I was sure He existed, that I didn't deny. But I wondered if He really loved me
like the preachers and other Christians had said. Finally, I wanted to see for myself. I wanted to take
charge and get into the Bible. I would start paying more attention in Church, and I would get more
involved with the youth. I kept this commitment for a while. I did what I thought I was suppose to do,
and I felt closer to God. But I still knew in my heart that something was missing. Here I was trying to
do everything perfect, talking to my friends about God, not cussing, trying to keep my grades up,
saying no to drugs. But now I had a new question to ask myself. Am I fake? Is what I'm doing really for
God? Or is it for fear of going to hell? Was my work only based on the prize I may or may not get in the
end?
I was slipping - and I knew it. But now, more than ever, I hungered for that feeling I had
heard so many Christians talk about. That feeling that makes you want to fall on your knees and praise
God in Heaven with a shout of joy, but at the same time, the ache of conviction and realization that
you're a sinner and that there is nothing you can do to change that.
One day as my mom and stepdad were driving me back to our house from a visit with my
brother, a song came on KLTY. It was called "You're Not Alone" by Meredith Andrews. At first, I just
listened to it like I would any other song, and it had no real affect on me. But when the words "I'm The
One Who's loved you all your life" and then repeated "all of your life", I started to cry right there in the
back seat. I had been upset....and some how I knew I was suppose to hear that song right then. And
almost every time I would turn on the radio from that day on, or change the channel to Sirius station
(the Christian hits), etc., I would hear that song. It was everywhere. And every time I would hear it, I
remembered. Then I knew that what I was doing was with fear and love of God, and I also was sure that
God loved me too.
Church Camp came soon after. And on the third night, I finally got that emotional experience
I had hoped for such a long time to get. I had my hands lifted, I had tears streaming, and when I
opened my eyes again, I looked around and saw many other teenagers who were doing the same. And
I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, and that despite everything I had gone through....I was a child
of God. And with God by my side, I could conquer anything.
And I can truly say I, Amy Insall, am I follower and lover of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Forever, Amen.
