Hi every one, my name is Liz. I was brought up pretty much a nothing. I knew god was there, but knew nothing about him. In about 6th grade, my mother introduced me to catholocism, and church. I started taking classes to take communion, going to church every sunday, doing extra things for the church, teaching sunday school..

I've always been different. I dye my hair crazy colors. I've got tattoos and piercings. But at that time, you could say I was pretty normal. I usually wore black, no biggie, had a little pink hair dye in my hair.. no big deal. But the woman who had been mentoring me told me that I wasn't a good role model, and I couldn't teach sunday school with pink hair.. Until that time I thought god would love me no matter how different I was.. but then I was starting to realize all the silly things that were said to me.

Don't get piercings. [Except your ears, because they're made out of dead skin. (yeah, she really said that.)]

You have to come to church every sunday, even if you're sick, or you're going to hell no matter what.[Hm.. I thought jesus forgives all..?]

Eventually I stopped going to church, and cut the church completely out of my life. I went from reading the bible every night, to wishing I wasn't alive. I never really felt anything 'godly' at that point. I never knew the feeling of gods love.

Fast forward through puberty, growing up, being suicidal, self harm, emotional abuse, and pretty much moving out of my parents house at 16...

I became great friends with a girl named Christie. She told me about her fabulous church. I told her I didn't like organized religon. She said she didn't either.. and that church isn't about being "Oh, you're catholic? Well I'm pentacostal. Oh you're this? Well I'm that.." It's about having a loving relationship with Jesus and god. Church is about singing, and being happy, not just sitting there, falling asleep. My faith slowly came trickling back a little. I started reading the bible a bit. Made plans to go to church with her the following sunday. I even prayed. I prayed to god that he would send me an answer, a message. I told him I needed help with some things. The next sunday, I went to church. It was amazing. The second I walked in, I heard singing and music. There was dancing, tamborines, and people waving flags.

I loved every thing that went on.. but near the end, the pastor mentioned somthing about their being alot of new people there. He said that if we wished to have a loving relationship with god, that we would come up to the alter. After a little moment of thought, I grabbed christie, and my other friend maria and went up. That may not seem like a big deal, but it was HUGE for me. I have generalized anxiety disorder. Big crowds scare me out of my living daylights, especially when I'm in front of them. But, I knew it was something I had to do. I went up to the alter, and kneeled down. The pastor talked alot, and I don't remember exactly what he said, but I was SO over come with emotion. I had this emotion that I've never felt before. Many women gathered around me, and put their hands on me and prayed for me. I began shaking. The woman sitting down next to me praying for me handed me a tissue, and thats the moment when I've realized this whole time what my problem was. I never felt jesus or god in my life because I didn't let him in! I didn't even try! At that very moment, I let go. I let go of everything I've been through. All the bleeding, all the pain, all the fighting, and I let god into me. I began crying and shaking uncontrolably. At the end of the prayers that everyone said for me, the woman next to me wrapped her arms around me in a gentle hug. I squeezed her back, and sobbed.. she began talking to me. I don't even know how to say this.. but she told me somthing. She told me exactly the answers to the questions that I asked god. Exactly. There is no way, that she would've ever found that out unless god told her, because due to my GAD I am a very closed person. I know that god spoke through her that day, and here I am now. Actually HAPPY.. this is technically my first stable relationship with anyone. =D The pastor introduced himself to me, and gave me a book to read. Alot of women came to me and hugged me and congradulated me on being saved. I went back to my seat, barely able to walk. I sobbed on my friend marias shoulder for a few minutes, and she cried with me. She was happy for me, that I found where I belonged. She was new to the church too, but she didn't kneel down with me, she wasn't prayed for, she didn't let herself go. Thats why I think god didn't visit her that day.

We were standing outside of the church later on. I was still shaking and crying. She told me she was happy for me, and wished she had felt that too.. and I told her you WILL get this feeling. You just have to let go. You have to JUMP. He'll be there to catch you..

I am SO much happier now, and I finally feel like my life is complete.