OK, so we all know that we are clay. Constantly being molded to become more like Christ. God has been bringing me to a higher level in my walk this week and it's been blowing me away, so I had to share my blog entry with you this morning. Hope it will bless your day and light the fire inside to burn out bright!!!
I have been having an amazing moment in God lately. So amazing, so clear, so passionate I don't even know how to describe it. In my life, I have felt the presence of God near, of Jesus sitting next to me; I have had my "God Highs", but lately, this all has become something deeper, something more real, more alive. The electricity that pushed through my veins make me want to write a book; to pour out how God has changed me and brought me closer in such an amazing and genuine and real, and never gonna let you go kind of way. Perhaps, someday I will figure that out, but as of now, I have no clue. I've feel in love with His word, and it's genuine. He no longer has beg me to come and become, to sit and listen. My heart desires only Him. This, of what I am becoming, has been a long time coming. I have been in the desert, I have turned away more times than I care to explain. If I sound as though I am rambling on, it's just because I am trying to share His work in me; what He done, how He has transformed me, I simply don't know how to put in words. All I know, is that I have been changed. As I type, I get lost. There is so much of God in my being, and yet I have so much to learn. I'm still clay being formed. I am still human, able to fall; and yet the power that I feel, the love that surrounds me, I pray for all God's people to experience. Tears ran down my face this morning as I begged God to never let go, or no, I begged God; "Father, please, I beg of you, don't let me let go of You". I am so afraid of loosing this person that I am becoming. I have worked so hard, prayed so long, desired and cried out; and He has heard me. He was, and He is faithful. He never let go. He never will let go. What do I do with all this love, with all this power, with all this passion? I gave it back to God and said, "Lord, this is alot of power! Your gonna have to do something with it in me, because I can't handle it all", but Thank You for letting me experience a very small part of your power and amazement. I've been reading "Praise Habit" by David Crowder (yes the singer); When I first picked up this book back in the summertime, I started reading it, and put it down half way, scratching my head, only to wonder how one can write in such a deep, profound way. I have gone through much since then; learning my best how to daily surrender. It's not easy. I've prayed for God to show up and He finally did. I've begun to read "Praise Habit" again this week and it has totally blown me away. I understand the depth, I understand the power of God, I see it, I get it, really. I encourage anyone reading this to go get that book, it will change you; and if it doesn't right away, you need to be praying and begging God to make it clear b/c when He does, it will blow your socks off. So why am I carrying on like this. Writing like some crazy Christian radical. No, I am very far, and hope to never be a Christian radical by any means. No. No, No, No. Please do not paint me in that light. The simple truth is this: We can call ourselves Christians; go to church, serve, give, tithe, love, volunteer; and bring any other "offering" we want to name to God. But, if after all the songs we sing, after all Bible studies, missions trips, or whatever else we do, doesn't change us in a way that allow us to experience a closer relationship with God and truley feel the closer presence of God in us, than we have missed it. If we don't start our days in Holy surrender, we have missed it. God desires our praise. God desires that praise to ooze out of us; that not only do we see God in everything, but others see God in us as soon as they encounter us, and that they ask how get what we have. I know this sounds deep, but I am just trying to make some sense of Gods heart. I could go on, and on, and on... Psalm 40 has David crying out to God, telling Him how he did not hold back in telling others of the Glory of God. I guess that is what I am trying to do here. I am showing you who are reading this that God can change you. He will change you. You can be changed forever. It's His desire for you to become more like Him and experience more of who He is in a deeper way. It's not just a sinner's prayer. It's not saying that your a Christian and doing works to justify your title. We have to come to a place of complete surrender; and that is a heck of allot harder than what it sounds. Following God is not easy, but it is the most freeing experience I have ever had in my life. It starts with prayer and a true desire that stems way deep inside the deepest part of you to desire to be more like Jesus. I am gonna stop typing now, because I think I made my point. I hope that something that I have said lights a fire within you to truely desire to become more like Christ. P.S. the link to my blog is below if you want to check it out and see how God is using me.
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