I Failed A Test
Posted by:
Bible Blogger on
March 20, 2007 at
4:46PM EST
I failed a test tonight and I want to share with you my failure.
God
is good and He has a perfect plan and I don't doubt that at all as you
can see from my blogs. Today, I had to erase and reinstall Windows XP
on my computer because I had upgraded to Vista and it completely ruined
most of my programs. I had backed up everything that I do, including
my personal business of three months, onto DVDs for reinstallation once
the Windows XP install was finished.
I went to install the most
critical disk and it wouldn't read. The computer said there was
nothing on the disk. All my work was gone...my business was
essentially destroyed.
I'd like to say my first thought was
to thank God for closing that door. However, my first reaction was to
throw my hands up and ask God why I had to go through this. I had
worked so hard on it and if it wasn't His will that was fine but
perhaps He could let me in on what His will was going to be. I spoke
to some of my clients to give them the bad news that their projects
would be delayed and called my folks to break the bad news to them. I
was at a very low point.
I was not praising the Lord.
I
was sitting there knowing His plan was perfect and He was working for
my good even if I couldn't see it. I didn't doubt that all of this was
happening for some purpose. Still, I was thinking of the hours that I
worked and the missed opportunities that were going to come my way
because of this. I was blaming myself for not making sure the disc was
working (even though I had checked it before I took it out of the
computer last night.)
I felt an urging just to go try the disc
in one of the computers in the back of my employer. The computer was
able to read the info on the disk. It's going to take three or four
times as long to get the data off the disk but praise be to God all my
information wasn't destroyed.
So now I feel several
things...I feel like a fool, I feel stupid for not trying that computer
in the back of the office in the first place and I feel horrible for
failing this test and letting God down. However, I also know that if
God didn't love me I wouldn't have gone through this test today. I
praise Him for allowing me to face the trial even though I was a
miserable failure.
I also know that unlike many times in the
past I realize I failed this test and that I will have a chance
tomorrow to stand up and do the right thing. To praise Him first when
things are going wrong instead of feeling the weight of it crushing me
and grudgingly accepting this is His will for me.
(Yes...I
know it wasn't a total failure because I did admit that His will was
what mattered and that His will was more important than anything I
could do...but I wasn't standing there grateful for the chances I had
and the gifts I had been given up to that point.)
So I get to
look forward tomorrow to trying again to be better for Him. :) If you
find yourself facing failure at one of His tests tonight please try to
join me in being happy He loves you enough to test you. And tomorrow's
another day...
