I know this week has been one hard blog after another and it’s focused on the sin and bringing awareness of it to the surface as well as challenging the believers to step up and show compassion and love to those suffering because of sex related addictions or work in that field. Today, we’re going to talk about something more hopeful.

There is hope to break free of all of these things!

First, to those who struggle with this addiction. I know it can seem like an overwhelming task to overcome this addiction. No matter where you go or what you do there are things that can trigger bad feelings or thoughts of other people that lead you down the path of sin. Just when you think you’ve turned a corner something will happen you feel like you’re back to square one.

The good news is that Jesus will forgive you!

Satan knows he can’t steal you away if your heart it truly given to God but he also knows that we’re human beings and imperfect. We’re going to sin even though we fight it hard. It could be a little as a quick thought about a man or woman we see at the mall but a sin is a sin. Once we do that, he’s quick to jump on us and say “see! You’re worthless! You’re a loser!” If you dwell in that shame Satan tries to put on you then you’ll lose sight of the one who can heal.

If you repent, He is faithful and forgiving. You may have to deal with consequences of your sin (whatever that may be) but you will be forgiven by God. Don’t buy the lies…turn to Him! Just be honest because He already knows everything.

Talk to your pastor or a professional Christian counselor about your issues and start to take the steps to beat the addiction. It won’t be easy but it can be done!

To those in the sex industry…there is help! You are never too far gone for God!

Now, you might be thinking that in an earlier blog this week I wrote about Jesus saying woe to those who place temptation in the path of others. Yes, that’s most certainly true. However, just because you’ve been in a position where you’ve sinned and enticed others to do the same thing it doesn’t mean you’re unforgivable! It doesn’t mean you’re worthless, your life has no meaning or that you will never be someone that can be viewed with love and respect by anyone!

I know Satan is pounding you with lie after lie after lie. The last thing he wants is for you to turn away from this life because he knows that God is waiting for you with open arms to cleanse you and give you a new life. You’ll be tempted to stay because of the money or the “fame” or a myriad of other reasons that deep down you know will not satisfy. You’ll be told that you’ll be broke or starving or living on the street if you walk away and turn to Jesus. I’m not saying it’ll be easy but there are people who would care to help you get out of that life like Beauty From Ashes Ministries.

I hope you all have a great weekend and realize the hope in Jesus Christ that’s waiting for everyone. Even if you’re a believer already you can still turn back to your Lord and He will make you clean of anything!!

The last two days have had some straight talk and harsh words when it comes to the subject of pornography and especially how women are treated. Today I want to take that and turn the view a little bit because this is the point where I think many Christians themselves sin and don’t even know it. It has to do with the area of condemnation.

Who are the people making porn, buying porn and why do they do it?

Well, they could be the people sitting next to at Denny’s enjoying a Grand Slam Breakfast. They could be in the car in front of you dropping off their children at school. Maybe they’re just behind you in the line at Wal*Mart because they ran out of frozen pizza at their kid’s birthday party and there are two dozen screaming elementary schoolers wanting their pepperoni pizza.

“Wait a second,” you’re saying. “The last two days you were talking about people who are degrading women and defiling them and turning them into human sex toys. Those kinds of people wouldn’t be seen out in places like Denny’s and Wal*Mart.”

Wrong.

Now, I’m not saying there aren’t the stereotypical pornographer out there like you see in the Hollywood movies. There are men who see women as disposable commodities and just pieces of flesh to use until they’re spent and then dump them hoping they’ll either kill themselves, get killed turning a trick or snorting drugs or just disappear some other way. In today’s world there are even women who are doing that to other women. (Which to me makes less sense because you would think a woman would understand more how degrading this business can be to a woman.)

However, the more porn works it’s way into “regular” society the more that people who seem like your average, ordinary couple in an average house with a nice hardwood floor are actually running a website where they put their most intimate moments on the internet for the world to see and make a lot of money doing it. They also love the attention it brings to them and they try to do more and more to put the spotlight on themselves.

It’s the teen girl who’s away at college and since money is tight figures there’s nothing wrong with “escorting” some older men around town and now and then having sex with them because it pays for spring break at South Padre Island and the hottest clothes their friends only dream of having in their closet.

It’s the guy who never fit in during high school and doesn’t know how to interact with other people who hides in his basement and surfs porn site after porn site because it creates a sense of intimacy between him and the women he sees on the screen. It’s all in his mind but at least he’s not feeling the pain of rejection anymore.

It’s the single mother whose husband just ran off with another woman and left her with no job, no real job skills and three hungry children who need to be fed. She turns to dancing at the local strip club because it brings in hundreds of dollars a night and now & then leads to a “private dance” where she can make hundreds more.

Do the thoughts of that make you sad? They bother me a ton. Take a second reading of those examples that I’ve laid out for you. How many of them are doing porn or prostitution or any sex related job because they really, truly, deep down WANT to do it? In reality, a lot of these people just have needs like feeling appreciated or welcomed by the people around them or they’re struggling with the sin of pride or love of money. They try to fill that void in their life with the porn business and it’s very welcome and accomodating to them.

Too many Christians look at people involved at the porn industry and they don’t see the underlying causes as to why people get involved in the first place. All the Christians hear is the word “porn” and immediately it’s a jump into “Holier Than Thou Mode!” You put on your weapons of war and proceed to beat the person senseless with a large print bible with a leather cover and your name imprinted on it in gold.

Too many Christians and too many churches look at sexual sins as the unforgivable sin. They would rather help a drug addict or alcoholic get rehab and help than help someone struggling with porn beat the addiction and spiritual battle. (If that church or Christian would even bother to help in the first place, that is.) This is something that we need to have stop today.

Remember Jesus’ admonition to all Christians in Matthew:

“”Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. ” - Matthew 7:1-2 (ESV)

The same standard you use to judge others is going to be put back upon you. Do you want to be seen as nothing but a liar because you told a little white lie to your kids when their goldfish took a ride down the porcelain fishbowl? Do you want to be seen as nothing but greedy because you only shared half your sandwich with someone in your Bible study group instead of giving them the whole thing? When you immediately pass judgment on the porn addict or the person involved with the sex industry you’re doing the exact same thing. They are human beings with sin and needs in their lives…they are not sin themselves.

Let me be clear: It does not matter that the sin is sexual sin. Sin is sin. You have it, I have it, Kirk Cameron has it, Billy Graham has it and the pornographer who shoots up his models with drugs so he can make them do things that would disgust any decent person has it.

I know…it’s hard to think of Billy Graham and a pornographer in the same thought. After all Billy is a great Man of God (and a real inspiration in my opinion) and there’s nothing he has in common with someone who actively tries to destroy the soul of another human being. However, he does. He has sin in his life like everyone else and all sin is sin to God.

Christians need to get past the condemnation of those in sexual sin and start reaching out to help these people either get out of the sex industry or beat the addiction of pornography. This is a situation where you need to move out of your comfort zone and really be in a place where you might have to put yourself out there financially.

The addict might not be able to afford counseling or the might not be able to afford the things and steps they need to take to recover. They might be living in a part of town where they’ll be surrounded by people who won’t encourage their recovery or even actively try to drag them back down. Most of all, they’ll need to be shown love, support and acceptance. They need to get mentallly healthy and that can’t happen if they feel they’re being condemned all the time or if they feel they’re being viewed as a worthless, sick human being by the people who are supposed to be helping them.

Also, speaking directly to wives of male porn addicts, as much as I know it’s hard you MUST remain in an intimate relationship with your husband. He needs to discover true intimacy and not the false intimacy that he was “enjoying” with his porn addiction. I’m not saying you need to provide wall to wall sex and do whatever he asks you to do because his mindset of that is warped by the pornography but you need to draw close to him and let him know you love him and that you want to see him beat the addiction. If you don’t support him, he cannot completely heal and you will end up helping the eventual destruction of your marriage. It may not end in divorce but you will never have a solid, intimate, loving marriage like God wants for you.

You can’t restore real intimacy with anyone if you’re always reminding them how they hurt you and/or what a horrible addict they were. I’m not saying you don’t talk about your hurt and you don’t talk about how his actions degraded and humiliated you…that’s part of recovery. It’s when you get into condemnation and unforgiveness of him that you cause more damage than good. You, as his wife, are the most important human being on this earth. How would you feel if the most important to you tossed you away? That’s right…you feel that way now because of the porn addiction. God doesn’t call you to make sure you put those feelings back on him. That’s God’s job to convict him.

Finally, the women and men in the sex industry need a true way of escape. It’s easy to tell them they need to repent and they need to get out of the business. The question become what will you do to help them start the new life and get right with God?

These people are going to need new jobs. Places to live. Not necessarily the luxuries of life but definitely the things we believe are needed to live like a phone to be able to communicate with people. They’ll need people they can call day or night when the temptations arise or if they find themselves in a situation where they could return to their life of porn, prostituion or sex businesses. This will require time, this will require money and this will require a spirit of forgiveness and mercy from you just as you would want God to show you.

They also need strong support systems…especially women coming out of this business. Their view of intimacy with men can sometimes be so obscured they can’t even see which way is up. They’ll see or talk to any man and immediately think all they want is to get into their pants. They will think that sex is love or even abuse is love. They’ll honestly think that if they’re being hit and used it means the man loves them. They need to be shown real love by Godly people so they can retrain their brains away from the way Satan had been training it. It’s not going to be easy, it’s going to take a lot of time and it’s usually going to require Women of God to stand up and stand strong.

One thing I have to give women…in general they’re more caring, more loving and better listeners than men. They know how to provide to each other what they need for support more than men. Sorry guys…I know it’s hard to realize that…but we usually spend more time blustering about than giving a darn about each other. We all need to show love to each other and guys…don’t be afraid to ask your wife how to do that if you have a buddy struggling with this! Ask your wife how you can show him you really care! Flipping him a beer and turning on the race isn’t really showing someone you care…

Now…I’m not saying at all that you condone the sin just to be loving to them. Absolutely not! You’re to stand strong and hard against the sin they were committing and let them know that it’s not fine under any circumstances to return to the sins. You just have to make sure you’re talking about the SINS and not the people. God wants every human being…even the sickest, most twisted producer of porn…to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus.

Today is the day for forgiveness. Today is the day for mercy. Today is the day for love. It’s time for all Christians…the people who make up the body of Christ and every single church in this world…to stop only passing condemnation on those who are involved in porn. It’s time to show them that Christ does love them and help them get their lives changed in a great, positive way!

Yesterday’s blog had a few people delete me from their friends lists without explanation. Today’s will probably do the same thing but I feel God telling me to write what you’re reading so when it comes down to it I should obey God rather than man. Today will not be as graphic and intense as yesterday but the message I think is even more important than yesterday.

It’s time for men to stop looking at women as little more than objects of lust.

“WAIT!” you’re saying. “I don’t look at women that way!”

Well, I hate to say it guys, but you very likely do and don’t even realize that you’re doing it. Even if you’re not lusting actively in the sense you think about sex when you see a woman it’s very likely when you look at a woman you’ll think about their physical features. Your focus will be on their outward beauty and it will make you look at them as an object rather than as a person.

It’s not entirely your fault because men’s brains are wired that way and the prince of this world knows it. We look at women and we can’t help it because we’re hammered day in and day out with images of women being used as objects of lust. It’s television commercials where actresses or models are in their bras and panties. It’s the beer commercials where every woman has a beer and a severe lack of apparel. It’s the movies where the sex scenes start getting edgier and edgier.

It gets worse when you bring porn into the picture.

If you’re viewing pornography on any kind of regular basis then you know that the women in those films always act like they’re ready to go and want everything that’s happening to them. They put off this image that women are nothing more than wild beasts just waiting for some man to allow them to let it all loose and bow to the every whim of the man. You may think in your head that you know women aren’t that way but you allow yourself the fantasy that women would be by watching these films.

Once you start to allow these thoughts into your head, you’re going to start looking at women in an entirely different way. Even though you say you know all women don’t think that you’re going to start paying more attention to how the women around you start dressing. You’ll come across someone who’s dressed similar to how you saw someone in a porn clip and your mind will race to that clip and you’ll wonder if this woman you’re talking to is as much a “freak” as the woman in the porn film.

If you’re not married it can lead you in the dating relationship to put such a priority on the physical aspects of a woman that she no longer becomes a human being but rather a warm body with all the right parts in all the right places. I’m not saying at all the physical attraction isn’t important in a relationship between a man and a woman because obviously God put that drive in all of us. I am saying that the physical aspects can and will change over time and if you’re looking only at the physical you’re going to find yourself five years into a marriage suddenly realizing that the woman you see brushing her teeth every morning no longer looks like the girls on the DVD or website who never age. Your mind will then wander away from your wife…the one, by the way, who you promised to forsake all others for…and start looking around for that next beautiful woman.

If you’re married then you shouldn’t be looking at other women in a sexual manner at all. Not even one. Just like I mentioned to the single man who’s building their view of a future wife based on how she looks physically and his mental comparisions to the distorted view of women he sees in porn films you too have a responsibility not to project sinful, lustful thoughts upon your wife that you obtained from porn.

If you do that, you’re showing no respect to your wife at all. None. It’s also showing no respect for God because you made a vow to forsake all others and the minute you start allowing yourself to start thinking about other women and being with them you’re committing adultery. You’re cheating on your wife and you’re sticking a vow to the Lord your God right into His face.

Don’t believe me? How about Jesus? Will you believe Him?

“”You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” - Matthew 5:27-28 (ESV)

That’s disrespect to your wife (or girlfriend), that’s dishonor to God and that’s taking the women you start thinking about and turning them into nothing more than warm pieces of meat upon which you can feed your unhealthy lust. I’m sorry to be so blunt about it but that’s really the bottom line and it’s time that men stop doing this to women.

You might be thinking that you don’t disrespect your wife because you don’t look at other women that way even if you do look at porn. OK…let’s just say for a minute your completely absurd idea that you aren’t disrespecting your wife is valid. (It’s not but let’s go with your thought process.) Have you ever brought into your bedroom with your wife what you’ve seen in those videos? Have you ever brought things in your intimate moments that you saw on your computer screen a few hours before? Have you ever thought of what you saw on the computer while it was happening?

You don’t have to say yes. I know you did. That is disrespect to your wife even if you want to claim you never lust after another woman.

“But these women are to blame!” you’ll say. �