Still Brokenhearted
Asked by:
Anonymous on
April 22, 2008 at
11:01PM EST
Hi,
I was in a on and off again relationship with my high school sweetheart for 13years (1992-2005). I went away for college (only 2 hours) but would come home on a regular basis to see him. When I graduated I moved back home but after about 2 years I got a job 2 hours away. I was gone for about 15 months before I moved back to be closer to him. That was October 2004. In February of 2005 I found out he had been cheating on me, I thought we were trying to work through it but I kept catching him in lies so about April 2005 he broke up with me. We never lost contact but rarely spent time together and have had no physical relationship since October 2006. He would always tell me that he just didn't want to be in a relationship right now but I kept tabs on him and noticed he remained in contact with the female he cheated on me with. In November 2006 I found out she was 4 months pregnant which he said he didn't know if it was his baby or not. This story was told up until after the little girl was born in which he had not gotten a DNA test like he said he would but claims her as his own. He keeps telling me that the girl is just his baby's mama, she's not his cup of tea, and he doesn't want to be with her. He will call me up just to say how much he still loves me but I never see him. I am an emotional wreck right now, I feel like my heart is being ripped out over and over again. I'm tired of the lies and I want to know what is up with him. How can he just treat the person who's stood by his side for 13+ years like nothing? I really love him but I can't take this treatment anymore. I have lost my dignity, my self-esteem, and my sanity. What should I do and what do you think his problem is?
(4) Answers
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Dear broken hearted, I believe he has made his choice by choosing to claim this child as his. I know this is no simple situation, but I think if you look deep down inside your heart, you may already have the answer to the question "what should I do". God wants you to be happy and fulfilled in all aspects of your life, including your love life. My question is this; Are you willing to continue to put yourself through more anguish and pain for someone, who in my opinion, has already moved on, or will you be bold and step out in faith and seek true love with someone who really cares about you and who you are? I know 13 years is a long period of time and it's going to take a while to get over the hurt and the pain. Pray to God the Father for help in your struggles. Ask him for healing and comfort as well as clarity in your life, to reveal to you which direction you should go with this issue. God is not the author of confusion and the Bible clearly states this fact. Lean upon Him and have faith that He will give you the right path to follow. As for your question about "what his problem is" He may have commitment issues. He doesn't want to be with her and he won't come around to be with you. You say he calls to tell you he still loves you, but where is the proof? Turn your eyes and ears upon the Lord and I have confidence that the answers you seek will be given to you and your path will be clear. I will pray for you and your situation and I pray that what I have written here helps you to find peace.
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Add me as a peep if you like. I'd love to have you as a friend.
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Answered by: Bev on April 26, 2008 5:13PM EST
I can't give better advice than that. Follow your gut on this one. I think you know the answer God is putting there!
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Answered by: Talker on April 29, 2008 4:39PM EST
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