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Last Published: 5/15/2008 5:06:54 PM
Emo style in the church
Asked by:
thing ( *cuzz thats all i am and im not wroth 1 thing! *) on
December 25, 2007 at
4:35PM EST
My question is about teen style in the church. My kids and some of their church friends like the Emo style that is popular among so many teens right now. I know where my kids Faith lies and know what they believe in, and to them this 'Emo' style is more about fashion then it is lifestyle. There are many at our church who think that these kids need to stop dressing this way and start dressing the way 'christian' kids should dress, so that they are presenting themselves as christians to other teens outside of the church. I need someone else's point of view. Please help!
(5) Answers
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I'm a Christian teen who also likes the "emo" style. And since my mother is the Children's pastor at our church, i get some stares from the older members of the church also.
the way i see it, if your kids do not feel convicted by the holy spirit, and are not causing anyone to sin, and their attitudes are not changing for the worse, than their style does not need to change.
what does a "Christian teen" dress like anyway? Their style of dress could actually become a great witnessing tool. they may attract a different group of people to whom they can witness to; a group that couldn't have been reached by those who to them seemed like the "holier than thou" type.
All people need to feel accepted and loved and if we keep the view of your friends at church, than lots of people will never see the love of Christ and we will have fewer people join us in the Kingdom of Heaven. Our Christianity is not defined by what we wear, but by our actions. What we wear only determines the group of people we reach with our actions.
hope i could be a help.
God Bless!
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You can't judge people by what kind of music they like, what kind of clothes they wear, which movies they like, etc. Yeah, maybe a lot of those emos out there aren't the greatest people in the world, but your kids, who may be dressing like emos, and listening to that kind of music, may act FAR from the way actual emo kids do.
Don't be worried if they are into emo stuff, be worried if they start acting emo. If they get depressed and what not, then be careful, and try to lead them back to Christ. If they stay Christian kids, and are perfectly fine, leave them be.
Remember, Jesus hung out with people like prostitutes and tax collecters, because they are the people who need it the most. If that was modern day, he'd be hanging out with drug dealers, prostitutes, murderers, and EMOS. Since your kids are Christian kids, but they are into Emo, they will be accepted by Emo kids. Your kids could actually take a depressed Emo kid, who hated his/her life, been slitting his/her wrists and bring him/her to know Christ. So what I'm thinking is, it's not really a problem for you, it's a solution for others.
Also, remember that we can't judge a book by it's cover. Have you ever heard of the band MxPx? You probably wouldn't be able to tell they are a Christian band. The lead singer has his lip pierced twice, and looks like a total punk. He's a hardcore Christian. There's a band called Flyleaf (your kids might like them if you tell them about Flyleaf) that looks and sounds Emo, but as well, they are hardcore Christians. Interests and looks don't define a person, it's what they believe that does.
I really hope that helps.
-Kyle
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This is an old issue that never seems to die. I say Amen to both Saraho's and Kyle's answers. I am 47 years old, and when I was a teenager, I liked to dress like a hippie. Even to church sometimes I wore sandals, leather fringe vests, jewelry, and I had long hair. I listened to Iron Butterfly, Led Zeppelin, and Aerosmith (as well as Christian music). I had psychedelic posters in my room and burned incense. But I was never in danger of running off and being a hippie or taking drugs or anything like that. I just liked the style and the music and the image. There was nothing unChristlike about any of it, just as there is not about Emo. Meanwhile I watched my friends at church whose parents forbade them from listening to rock music and made them dress in a "Christian" way (=old-fashioned and conservative) become bitter toward the church and leave Christianity. I think it's because they sensed that such legalism is not real, and they didn't want to be a part of something not real. I'm thankful that my parents let me be me and grow up in a healthy Christianity.
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Answered by: Jack on March 19, 2008 2:24PM EST
Why is it u think ur children have to dress anyway other than the way they want? really, its not up to you, do you think your god would want u to supress someones way of expression? Any one who says its not the christian way has no right to say it in the first place, would you let your children walk around in a white robe and sandals? Dont think so....
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Answered by: Dave on May 13, 2008 2:28PM EST
It seems that there is a bent towards defending personal rights in these three responses. Fashion is Fashion, it comes and goes. To me, that's not the real issue. Jesus did eat with prostitutes - so do you want your kids to eat with prostitutes, or dress like them. They do look pretty cool most of the time (at least on TV). Jesus did not eat with them in the brothel, or out on the street, nor he did associate with all of them either. He engaged them to where he was, accepted them as who they were, and invited them to change. I doubt that the prostitutes who got saved still dressed like prostitutes, that the pharasees who got saved still dressed like pharasees (who dressed in ways to bring glory and prestige to themselves), and I don't think that Zaccheous acted or looked the same after he got saved.
Salvation calls us to be light in a dark world. 1 Thess 5:22 tells us to "Avoid" temptation (NIV) That literally means to "stay away from" and included the notion of not "taking pleasure in or from evil". We are told to be in the world but not of the world. We are called "aliens" in Peter.
I think we need to ask more questions of God and less about culture. Is God pleased, is he displeased, or is it a non-issue. To get the answers to these questions, we must go to the Bible rather than simply relying on society, culture, and feelings. Col. 2:8 says "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." Let the BIBLE be your filter.
So, to the original question. I would consider the following scripture and then determine if it is a real issue or not. If it is - change. If it is not - be able to express your beliefs and stand by them. It is totally grey - then apply wisdom to when, where, and how much you buy in to the fashion.
My personal challenge is to ask how much the world is influencing you rather than God. I would ask this of rockers, goths, preps, and fashion queens also. Even at 40 years old myself (once having hair down past my shoulders) - I have to check myself for wants and desires build solely on cultural and societal pressures and not being connected to God at all.
Here are some scripture to consider. I will give the gist of it - you find it in your bible.
1. Honor your parents.
2. Honor the elderly.
3. Be a beacon of light in a dark world.
4. Be salt and light (flavor and truth) to a world in need.
5. Do not be conformed to standards of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your MIND in Christ Jesus.
6. Romans 2:1-11
7. Romans 1:21-24
8. John 16:33
That should be enough to get you started. And by the way, these verses both support fashion and condemn fashion in principles they express. You must decide how it applies to your situation.
Hope that helps.
I am actually on this sight because I am researching (per my son's request) how to witness to an EMO he knows at school. I must say that it does seem to be fashion to some, but there is a slippery slope moving into what seems like an anti religious sub-culture involved in the whole thing too.
Good luck.
Pastor Dave
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